ON TURNING 30

I took this photo for my 25th birthday. It felt like a milestone to me. I was moving into my mid-twenties. Thirty still seemed like a century away. Now thirty is in two days. And now I feel like I’m standing on the precipice of something. That something is a new decade.

I remember turning 20 — leaving behind my teenage years. I think to that version of me now. It’s not a hard leap to say that I’ve grown from that girl. I’ve enjoyed my twenties. Perhaps a bit too much ;) I’ve made many mistakes. I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’ve grown to be the woman I am today. As I enter my thirties, I know I’ll continue learning and growing — and continue to evolve into the woman I’m meant to be. As I brave this new decade, here are a few things I’ve learned:


TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH:

What your body was when you were 18 is definitely not your body now. My back hurts. Frequently. I can’t go all night. My hangovers last days. Externally, your body will change as well. Your metabolism will slow. Your skin won’t bounce back as fast (sunscreen is your friend!). Visits to all your doctors and your dentist is important. Make time for yourself.


JOMO IS A THING:

I used to have FOMO. Now I’m looking for excuses to not attend things. A quiet night in is my favorite past time. And that’s okay. Nowadays when I tell my friends I’m not doing anything; everyone enthusiastically agrees. Because we all know, self-care time is important.


ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT:

Be it negotiating your salary, taking on new projects, in high-level meetings, conversations in a relationship, or just sex. You want things. You have opinions. Don’t be afraid to vocalize them.


CHOOSE YOUR COMPANY WISELY:

I’ve always been a person who made friends easily. As an only child, if you want companionship — you have to go out and get it. But as an adult, I’ve been more selfish with my time as I’ve gotten older. I still have a wide circle of acquaintances, but my true friends always know who they are because I can’t spare anymore time for people who aren’t in sync with where I am in my life.


NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU:

And so what? Who cares. This was my favorite discovery. It is statistically impossible for everyone to like you. There will be someone, somewhere that just won’t. So if speaking your mind, being yourself — ruffles a few feathers, fuck ‘em.


OWN YOUR SEXUALITY:

Guess what, women like sex too. Shocker, I know. We like it with ourselves, with like it with each other, we like it with men, we like feeling good. And going after it, doesn’t make us bad people. And wanting only it, doesn’t make us bad people.


LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS:

If you don’t love you, how can someone else?


IT’S OK TO TAKE THE UNCONVENTIONAL PATH:

I went to college to be a lawyer. Clearly that didn’t happen. My best friend sine I was 6 years old is married, with two kids, and two dogs. Meanwhile I’ve had 18 addresses in 29 years, switched across 3 industries in less than a decade, and have more passport stamps than long-term relationships. Both routes are fine. Your path is your own. What matters is whether or not you’re happy.


Am I a tad bit nervous about turning 30? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. But my biggest fear is not being able to do everything. I’m learning that’s okay. I’m feeling good. I’m ready to do the damn thing. And I’ll see you at 40. 


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